Rewind 2008-09

As the academic year draws to a close, (in fact, I'm already done with it) it's but natural one would look back in retrospection trying to introspect and draw inferences and chuckle at memories and whine for ill-made decisions and opportunities missed. Given the utter joblessness suddenly jabbed on me, (exams over .. sometimes I think exams are good .. at least you have something to do all the time.. something to focus upon) I too am going to do the same.

"What a year!" .. of all people, no KGPian could deny that. Starting with a blanket ban on bikes, followed by the 11 PM ban, then Illumination, a drab placement season, number of open houses - highly charged ones, 22/3 and finally just before the end of the session - 23/4. It would certainly go down as one of the lowest 12 months in kgp.

On a personal front, apart from every one of those mentioned above affecting me, there were a few other highs and lows too. Bhai beginning his college; the internship-interview season; a poor start in Tech-GC; bro getting in finals of an all-India level exhibition; You know what (mmm .. ok .. i desperately want to write about this point but don't want to write about it - quite a contradicting quandary. hence, just 'you know what'); Midas - our robotic hand getting successfully implemented; an almost funded project which didn't take off :( ; the excitement of friends getting great offers from universities and companies alike; GRE - a disaster; the hall (and general) elections and then finally 23/4 - which hit me bad!

All in all, a session with not-so-many goods and predominantly a grim one. Particularly towards the end when the whole campus simmered with 22/3. Phul Tempo's critical condition was no less disconcerting (Thank GOD he's back in nice shape). A guy disappearing all together - and is still not found. Another falling off the roof and losing a terrible amount of blood. And finally, the nail in the coffin - 23/4 - Ramanand deciding to end his life. In particular, Tempo and Ramanand's were the cases which had the deepest impact on me 'coz I knew them personally. I would not want to go into any kind of speculation as to what led to Ramanand taking such a drastic step. It's only that you feel a strange emptiness, a guilt (for a reason you cannot fathom). The fact that he was my lab partner last semester fuels the disquietude. It makes one think - is life really that fragile. That one quality, the mystic aura which separates the living from the dead and the non-living .. is it so vulnerable? If it is, it certainly shouldn't be. Or there shouldn't be any life at all. Why subject humanity to this pain?

Life and death - the only two absolute truths in this world, and we are not even close to knowing what they mean; leave alone understanding the why's and how's.

Don't want to write further on this.

PS1: Life moves on
PS2: Busy with an application thing these days ..
PS3: Finally, Final Year .. I really want it to be over fast
PS4: Song of the day - "Pal" - KK
PS5: Reading 'Freakonomics' .. Initial review - go, read it!
PS6: Wonder if I'd be able to get enough internet access during internship
PS7: hmmm .. woke at 12 in the night, went out for a chit-chat with a friend, and now this blog - 5 am .. exams over - hell yeah!!

Should I....or shouldn't I ??

There are crossroads when you don't seem to understand which way to go. Which one to leave, which one to follow. There are people around you who are moving in every direction. And they have positives to speak about the way they follow, and negatives for the others. For each one, the path they tread along, is the best. Not that they are wrong. They are right...but in their own way.

For the last few days, I was kept so busy by activities around me that I even used to fail to note if the hall canteen (where I am often found ideally) is open or not. Suddenly, I was in everything. And at each place, I had someone over me to answer to. Each one wanted his job to be done, no matter how stressed out I was, no matter if the work assigned to me by others is done or not, no matter if my priorities get over-ruled by the work being given to me.

And, stressed I was. My acads evidently suffered (something which did not bother any of those who gave me all that work). My health deteriorated (again something which had no relevance to the same people who made sure that I was over-burdened with work).

They said, "These things build up PERSONALITY. They give you a sense of time management"

huh!!

All they wanted was that the event which they were working for, should be a success. Nothing else mattered. Not me at least.

Thanks to di....she helped me out when I needed sincere advise. When I was feeling lowly after getting reprimanded for the umpteenth time (for shirking work, as they said) inspite of me slogging my ass the whole day to get the job done, she comforted me. And golden were here words. Just the right thing. Here I quote what she said exactly -

takin part in activities is grt....cause it helps u 2 develop al parts of ur personbality.... but prioritise them firstly...secondly take part in activities which u lyk or which interest u rather than takin part in al cause 1 or other fren is doin so....thirdly the most imp...figure out wht u want @ end of ur iit.....wer u wanna b or wer u wnt it 2 take u...once u figure tht out....keep ur goal in sight n don't get sidelined by al other things..... in short know wht u wnt....but njoi things while not losin sight of ur destination...detour once in a way r good fun....but they should not get u lost!!!

Since she wrote this thing on Orkut, hence this form. But I guess, it is good enough to send the message across.

On basis of what di said, I prepared a flowchart. This I believe, is more than sufficient to summarize a great deal. I dedicate this to all those who are unable to decide at any point of time what they should pursue, and what they should leave. It is very important to realize what our priorities are - just as di said. It might seem to be very simple, too crisp; but then this is what you could resort to at all times, and the result would be for you to see.

She further said :

hey pls tc of urself...n whn in doubt ...or confusion or so...pls sk ppl or frens or teachers etc....who u think wud make sense...but sensible ones...n don't b rash....this time is the best time of lyf but if not dealt wit in rite way can bcum....worst time 2!!! so njoi...but don't think its end of world n do unnecessary stupidities!!!!

She made a very good point here. Ask people, friends or teachers - who you think would make sense, but SENSIBLE ones. Not anyone is the right person to ask for a suggestion only because he or she is a senior. The person you talk to should be sensible.

Luckily, I have a di like this who is not only sensible, but also caring and loving. We never met. It is only Orkut which connects us. But still, I feel she is near me. She cares about the guy to whom she is talking even if he is only just-another-boy she found wasting his time on Orkut. Thanks di....thanks a lot.

And you, yeah you....are you still reading the blog. Leave this, and go for the flowchart. Enjoy LIFE !!!